Alcohol is the elixir.
Jerome: lets drink
me: ok
me: i have merlot
me: what do you have
Jerome: i have dom
me: dom perignon?
Jerome: yea
me: sweet. I got my sister that for her wedding
Jerome: jk we're not allowed to drink that
me: now shes getting a divorce and I've been begging her to bring that dom back to me
Jerome: hahah