In a recent party invitation, I had listed several things that I would strictly prohibit - such as Doritos, skanky bimbos, children under the age of 21, and guns. Here is one of the replies I got:

Teresa: I'll be sure to leave my Dorito-loving, skanky child who shoots guns at home.

me: ooh you're fast
jremple@gmail.com: that's what she said
jremple@gmail.com: wait -
me: hahahahahahahahaha
jremple@gmail.com: that's what he said
jremple@gmail.com: there we go
jremple@gmail.com: that's what i meant

My usually reserved and reticent grandfather can pull out some quirky but amusing remarks...I just have to pay attention closely.

Mom: Yesterday was my husband's birthday. He just turned 60.
My 80-year-old Grandpa: What? *turns to my dad and says nonchalantly* Oh. Congrats.
(His terse remark instigated an uproar of laughter among us young ones.)

Regarding our President's speech at a local elementary school in Taiwan...
Grandpa: What does he mean when he says "I consider you all as persons" when these kids already are?!
Touche, touche.

gotfrank: oh yeah im going to be going to the gym 5 times a week when i move in to the towers
gotfrank: my hotness will be at new all time highs by february
gotfrank: and keeps going until spring time
gotfrank: i'm going to be so sexy it hurts

supahdon: Last night's dream involved Vegas, finding Liv Tyler held hostage, killer ants, going to Australia to watch Australian Rules Football.

me: awesome dream
supahdon: yeah, i couldn't save liv tyler
supahdon: the killer ants were too fast
me: hahaha
me: love it.

s.k.seto: you are lame
me: you just like calling me that because you have nothing better to say
s.k.seto: if that makes you feel better about me calling you lame
s.k.seto: awesome
me: haha
me: yes it does
me: I feel much superior
s.k.seto: haha
s.k.seto: i'm happy for you

On Thursday Night Thing held by Museum of Contemporary Art...

Alessa: Is that Teenage Ninja Turtles?