Jon C: oh i see how it is
Jon C: i'm so easily replaced
Jon C: you could have at least eased me into it
me: no no no
me: you're still first choice
me: you heard nothing
Jon C: haha sure i didn't

I could be lame or just plain witty.
Kat: I have a lot of Williams in my phonebook.
Bill: Haha, well I have a lot of Karens in mine.
me: But I have only one Song in mine... *smirks*

Who does this kind of stuff, lol
me: (picks up)Hey
Jon C: Guess what's today?
me: It's your birthday; happy birthday!
Jon C: Yea. Ok that's all.
me: Wait, you called me just to ask me to say happy birthday?
Jon C: Well I didn't ask you
me: Ok, fine, but you prompted me; you probed me to ask. I can't believe it!

Truth hurts.
Johnny: you're older than me??
me: yes
Johnny: since when
me: since the day i was born
Johnny: oh
Johnny: wow
Johnny: don't have to rub it in
Johnny: ouch

Moving fun.
me: moving makes me feel like killing people
Jerome: dont try to kill kat
Jerome: she's strong
me: I think she would slaughter me first
Jerome: yea
Jerome: i agree
me: after all... she can pick up those granite tables you guys have
Jerome: backhanded judo chop to the jugular
me: *shakes head*
me: probably throws me the table
me: haha
Jerome: hahah
Jerome: i can see her now
Jerome: let me move your bed!
Jerome: picks it up w/ one arm
Jerome: desk in the other
me: wow, all in one movement
me: that makes moving a lot easier, doesn't it

me: gelaaaaaato
Jerome: gelato makes moving easier too
me: so does alcohol
Jerome: so does almost anything
me: um... sure

This is just hilarious.
Message about Rubik's Cube Party

Hey guys, if you are missing clothes or have clothes that are not yours email me and let me know.

I would never have guessed...
Daniel: i once kissed a guy drunk
Daniel: but
Daniel: i was really
Daniel: really
Daniel: really
Daniel: drunk

So Nat, Jerome, and I put together a gelato cake last night...
Jerome: we sold the cake
Jerome: haha
me: did she take a look at it?
Jerome: she didnt complain to our face
Jerome: yea
me: how did she react?
Jerome: she said perfect
me: hmm
me: did she mean it
Jerome: but i dunno what she was thinking
Jerome: i dunno
Jerome: haha
me: judging by her reaction
me: hmmm ok.
Jerome: she didnt sound too convincing
me: oh. ok. thats what I figured.
me: I hope she liked my chocolate leaf configuration
Jerome: haha
Jerome: actually
Jerome: she said i like everything but this leaf configuration
me: oh shut up

Calvin: so once it's sat for a day i'll try it
Calvin: i'll let you try the next batch
me: ok sweet
me: wait, am I gonna die from this
Calvin: well if it was going to kill you, i'd be dead before you had a chance to try it
me: oh yeaaa... good call.

Alcohol is the elixir.
Jerome: lets drink
me: ok
me: i have merlot
me: what do you have
Jerome: i have dom
me: dom perignon?
Jerome: yea
me: sweet. I got my sister that for her wedding
Jerome: jk we're not allowed to drink that
me: now shes getting a divorce and I've been begging her to bring that dom back to me
Jerome: hahah

This is why I don't tell my mother anything about my relationships...
Mom: So who is going to help you move out that big bed of yours?
me: Daniel; we have an agreement that I would help him move and he would do the same for me
Mom: Sounds like a good deal, but how much help would you be for him? Can you carry anything?
me: Oh come on, I'm stronger than I look... haha
Mom: So what's going on between you and Daniel? Is he after you?
me: Huh? Where did you get that from?
Mom: Well at graduation he was quick to declare that he wasn't your boyfriend
me: Haha, well he probably thought you would have mistaken since I went straight after him to get pictures taken
Mom: So is he seeing anyone? Does he have a girlfriend?
me: No, anyways he is just a friend
Mom: Just a friend?
me: Just a friend... Why are you all gossipy? I have a lot of friends that are just friends.
Mom: Ok ok, I know you have a lot of buddies. Sure, sure.

I don't think she is convinced. I need to hire someone to pretend to be my boyfriend so she can rest her case.

Harry Potter predictions...
Rebecca wrote:
1. snape is good
2. harry isn't going to die
3. dumbledore isn't going to magically come back from the dead


Camie wrote:
Here is what I think.
1. Snape dies. Justice prevails.
2. Harry dies. No one else will write another Harry Potter book after Rowling.
3. Dumbledore remains dead but his magical powers will help Harry conquer all evil.

:-D

For some reason Jon L's comment just cracks me up, lol.

Jon L: Paintball is probably not for me. If someone shot me, I would probably hit them with something heavy.

Don't butcher my name, goddamnit... lol.
Ali: Camille?
me: *frowns* Hmm no.
Ali: Cameron? Camilla?
me: No. It's just Camie.
Ali: That's your full name? Just Camie?
me: Yes. Just my name. What, you have a longer version of your name?
Ali: What?
me: Ali-bah-bah?
Ali: That's it! *shifty eyes*

So corrupted.
Jerome: i <3 him
Jerome: he bought things
Jerome: haah
Jerome: jk
me: I want to kill you
Jerome: hahhah
Jerome: my <3 can be purchased
Jerome: in the form of 2, 4, or 6 scoops
Jerome: and the ACE is made out of orange, carrots, and lemons

I love psychology people...
Denise C: i'm going to vermont thsi sat
me: oh wow!
me: what for
Denise C: train peeps on shocking animals
me: hahaha!

Meta-understanding of misunderstanding.
me: So how do you get to the 5 from here?
Nat: The 5?...It's pretty far from here. You can turn left at this light and then turn... 163...8 West...So you understand how to get to the 5?
me: Uh...Blink
Nat: Huh?
Jerome: She said blink.
Nat: What does that mean?
Jerome: It means she doesn't understand.
me: Thank you for interpreting the situation...
Nat: Well, BLINK.
me: Umm... what?
Nat: I don't understand what you don't understand.
me: Haha... um ok. This is not working, we are mis-communicating.
Nat: We have achieved an understanding that we don't understand.
me: Great, I'm glad we have cleared that up...

This is what happens when Todd takes over my computer
me: i'm so lonely working besides you
me: hold me
me: please
me: i just want to be held
me: tightly
Jerome: i'm right here
Jerome: u can hold me anytime

I did not know whether to laugh or to cry...
me: you make me want to cry
Daniel: what??
Daniel: let me get comic relief
Daniel: will!

Oh Kat... I never knew!
Kat: you'll have it see it w/o the good blow job
Kat: i had two guys blow dry my hair at the same time
me: LOL
...
Kat: hm..that came out wrong
Kat: lol

Tennis...But no, he still rejects me. :p
Daniel: but now you're in your sexy tennis outfit
Daniel: how could i refuse
me: awww
me: you will just have to see me in it another day
Daniel: *shakes fist at phi
Daniel: now i shall go help him
me: ok
me: see ya later
me: I will await you in my sexy tennis outfit
Daniel: yesh

To this day he still rejects me. I am broken hearted.
me: but but, hot girls await you
Daniel: oh please
me: hot single girls await you
Daniel: these supposed hot girls that i have been around for four years now?
Daniel: and have yet to hit on me
Daniel: a shame
Daniel: it is a shame and a sham
Daniel: and a shimmy
Daniel: cocopuffs
me: I can't help it if you have not been receptive
Daniel: try as you might
Daniel: you won't tame this soul
me: GAH
me: you are hopeless

Never ending conversation.
Jerome: are u not happy w/ the job we gave u?
Jerome: cuz ur contract says u must be happy
me: no no I am happy with the job you guys gave me
me: I am happy
Jerome: hah
Jerome: surrre
me: I am, how can I prove it to you
Jerome: mmm 20 pushups
me: you know what, I am not so happy
me: I lied
me: haha
Jerome: haha
Jerome: referring to page 24 of ur contract
me: psssh
me: I never got my copy
Jerome: that'll be 40 more pushups
me: !!!
Jerome: talk to ur lawyer
Jerome: nathaniel uy esq.
me: hahaha
Jerome: he negotiated a hard bargain

Why the hell am I not there?!
Marina: going to the naked gay beach cause its the best one in the city
me: oooooh

Drunken tales.
Jerome: i think the worst for me was the day before my final day at my old job
Jerome: i went out to college night
Jerome: had a lot of shots
me: oh damn!
Jerome: and i was like i cant do anymore
me: awwwwww!
Jerome: but then my friends bought me another patron shot
me: ugggh!
Jerome: and she was like.. ok if u take this, then u can take the lime from my mouth
Jerome: (she's hot)
Jerome: i was like.. ah damnit
me: daaaaamn!
Jerome: so i took it
me: did you get to? take the lime from her mouth?
Jerome: yea i did
me: are you still friends with this hot chick?
Jerome: yea
me: sweeet
me: good job!
Jerome: passed out at the club
me: awwww!
Jerome: went back to their house
Jerome: but i stayed up
me: oh good
Jerome: couldnt sleep
Jerome: had to be at work at 8am
me: oof
me: were you ok at worK?
Jerome: drove from their place to my house
Jerome: at 7am
Jerome: felt sick
me: awww
Jerome: puked at 7:50
me: damn
Jerome: went to work on my last day
Jerome: and we had a meeting
Jerome: i still reeked of alcohol
me: ooof
Jerome: everyone was all making fun of me
Jerome: haha
Jerome: and i was a zombie the rest of the day
me: awww
me: well its your last day
me: it's not a bad way to exit
Jerome: that was the worst.. having to stay up thru the meeting and everything
Jerome: ahah
Jerome: yea
Jerome: my boss got a kick out of it
me: awwwww, at least it was memorable
Jerome: haha
Jerome: yea

Commitment issues.
Jerome: ur supposed to be available whenever we ask
me: whaaat
me: I never agreed to this commitment
me: it's OVER
me: lol but I still want gelato
Jerome: haha
Jerome: remember that lifetime contract u signed?
me: was I drunk?
me: was I high?
Jerome: both
me: did you feed me ruth e? er roofie
Jerome: 4 of em
me: oh shit
me: what a bastard
me: I demand a lawyer
Jerome: part of the contract said u couldnt sue us
me: damn. I hate this contract
Jerome: part of the contract said that u cant hate it either
me: ...!
me: grr! so not fair; and don't tell me that the contract does not allow me to complain either
Jerome: ur actually not even supposed to talk about the contract
me: like fight club huh
me: psssssh
Jerome: it says everytime u say the word "contract" u have to do 40 pushups
me: WHAAAt
Jerome: 1st rule of the contract
me: messed up
me: lol
me: well I'm eating right now
me: so that's not happening
Jerome: well it also says
Jerome: that if u dont complete the 40 pushups
me: shhh!
Jerome: within 30 secs
me: +_+
Jerome: then it doubles
me: OHHH!
me: oh well, there is no one here to implement it
Jerome: when u were roofied, we had cameras installed in ur house
Jerome: i see u
Jerome: u still need to do ur pushups
Jerome: i wouldnt eat that if i were u

me: how much are you guys charging
Jerome: 650
Jerome: they have to share a bed w me
me: maybe that's why no one responded
Jerome: yea
me: if you put brad pitt's picture on it
me: it might help
Jerome: wat are u trying to say
me: marketing strategies, that's all